Worst Album Covers of 2012

Mural Abbey Road1 copy

And the nominees are…

20. Colton Dixon

“A Messenger”

The world's skinniest, skinny jeans

I give you the world’s skinniest, skinny jeans and the world’s longest shirt penis

19. Ryan Power

“I Don’t Want To Die”

"I Don't Want To Die"...or eat breakfast, or take a shower, or shave.

“I Don’t Want To Die”…or eat breakfast or take a shower or wear shoes or shave.

18. Jerrod Niemann

“Free the Music”

"Free the Music," or in other words, free my tandem-trombone-penis from my pants.

“Free the Music,” or in Jerrod Niemann’s case, free his tandem-trumpet-trombone-penis from his pants.

17. Nina Sky

“Nicole and Natalie”

The only way this cover would be awesome is if it were actually the poster for a "Face/Off" sequel.

The only way this cover would be awesome is if it were actually the poster for a “Face/Off” sequel.

16. Graham Parker & the Rumour

“Three Chords Good”

I had no idea that the guys from "Lemon Party" started a band!

I had no idea that the guys from “Lemon Party” started a band!

15. Too Short

“No Trespassing”

This cover is a combination of TESLA's "Signs" and Bill Cosby's "Ghost Dad."

This cover is a combination of TESLA’s “Signs” and Bill Cosby’s “Ghost Dad.”

14. Why?
“Mumps Etc.”

Why? No. Seriously. Why?!

Why? No, seriously. Why?!

13. John Travolta & Olivia Newton John

“Christmas”

A major conflict in the "Grease 3: Christmas Special" centers around a mishap involving Danny's toupee glue and Sandy's cheek.

A major conflict in the “Grease 3: Christmas Reunion” centers around a mishap involving Danny’s toupee glue and Sandy’s cheek.

12. Yanni

“Live at El Morro, Puerto Rico”

YANNI ATTACKS!

YANNI ATTACKS!

11. Big Baby Gandhi

“No 1 2 Look Up 2″

Big-Baby-Gandhi-No1-2-Look-Up-2

Breakfast of Chumps

10. Gossip

“A Joyful Noise”

When your lead singer is a little hefty, and a little beastly, it's not the best idea to put her on the cover dressed as a Hefty Beast.

When your lead singer is a little hefty, and a little beastly, it’s not the best idea to put her on the cover dressed as a Hefty Beast.

9. B.o.B.

“Strange Clouds”

B.o.B. couldn't figure out why a cloud had been following him around ever since collaborating with Rivers Cuomos.

B.o.B. couldn’t figure out why a cloud had been following him around ever since collaborating with Rivers Cuomo.

8. Keyshia Cole

“Woman to Woman”

Never has "Let me take off my face" been taken so literally.

Never has “Let me take my face off” been taken so literally.

7. Ceelo Green

“Magic Moment”

And you thought "The Voice" was bad...

And you thought “The Voice” was bad…

6. DVA

“Pretty Ugly”

"Pretty Ugly"? Touche.

“Pretty Ugly”? Touché.

5. Thee Oh Sees

“Putrifiers II EP”

Last year Thee Oh Sees made my "Best Album Covers" list with their album "Castlemania," but this year with the half man, half dog cover it's a much different story.

Last year Thee Oh Sees made my “Best Album Covers” list with their album “Castlemania,” but this year with the half man/half dog cover it’s a much different story.

4. Death Grips

“No Love, Deep Web”

Dear RIAA: the parental warning sticker on this album seems a bit redundant.

Dear RIAA: the parental warning sticker on this album seems a bit redundant.

3. Physical Therapy

“Record Sales”

If this glowing hipster-cowboy kneeling in the desert becomes a major plot point in the "Breaking Bad" finale, I'm going to be pissed.

If this glowing hipster-cowboy kneeling in the desert becomes a major plot point in the “Breaking Bad” finale, I’m going to be pissed.

2. Blood On the Dance Floor

“Evolution”

If wrestling make-up, a Bon Jovi hairstyle, and florescent tactical gear are part of our "Evolution," we truly are doomed (BTW: Worst Font Ever).

Blood On the Dance Floor? More like Shit On the Album Cover.

1. Jimmy Edgar

“Majenta”

jimmy-edgar

This is what it might look like if Jack White and Robert Palmer made a music video together.

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6 Comments

Filed under Best/Worst Album Covers

6 responses to “Worst Album Covers of 2012

  1. valhalladeath

    #4–Oh god why! My eyes are bleeding….

  2. I thought the Death Grips album cover deserves No. 1. C’mon, they worked their balls off for this one

  3. They’re going to have a hard time (hehe) getting #4 past the censors. Probably going to have to put a giant black bar over it or something.

  4. jabba

    You’re joking right? Death Grips released the album by themselves. The RIAA had nothing to do with that. It was probably some jackass interwebber that photoshopped the sticker on there.

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