Tag Archives: worst album covers
Worst Album Covers of 2011
20. And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
“Taos of the Dead”
I appreciate that all of the Trail of Dead covers are drawn by front man Conrad Keely, and he's obviously a great artist, but there comes a time where you need to pull your singer aside and be frank with him. Enough with the spaceships and air balloons, the machine guns and monocles, and the idea theft of video games (“Final Fantasy” and “Star Fox”). Put the pen down, and SING.
19. Eric Church
“Chief”
It’s nice to see that the kind folks in the country music community have welcomed the Una-Bomber into their world with open arms.
18. 311
“Universal Pulse”
A glimpse of “National Geographic” in the year 3000.
17. William McDowell
“Arise”
Does anyone else see the irony in how William McDowell’s followers in the background resemble a zombie uprising?
16. William Shatner
“Seeking Major Tom”
As much as Captain Kirk tried to hide, Sulu just kept finding him.
15. Steven Tyler
“(It) Feels So Good”
Tyler opted for the Times New Penis font (of all the phallic-letters, N is the happiest to see Tyler’s mouth open).
14. Big Time Rush
“Elevate”
We all know white guys can’t jump, but are we supposed to believe that the guy on the right is actually jumping?
13. Drake
“Take Care”
Poor , sad Drake has to sit around alone with his golden goblet, his golden candle stick, and his golden owl (this cover would be an all-time favorite if instead of an owl, he was holding a golden turkey leg).
12. Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers
“Rare Birds”
This cover is about as funny as Martin’s performance in “The Pink Panther”, or "Baby Mama", or "Bringing Down the House", or "Cheaper By the Dozen" or "Sgt. Bilko".... (Can someone remind me why is this man so beloved again? You can't give a guy a 30 year pass for "The Jerk".)
11. Maylee Todd
“Choose Your Own Adventure”
Remember that “Choose Your Own Adventure” book where you have the choice between going in a time traveling cave or wearing furry animal pants? Yeah, I always went with the time machine too.
10. John Lord Fonda
“Bang the Fire”
Should have worn sunscreen.
9. Kate Bush
“50 Words for Snow”
Snowballing a snowman - you see something new everyday.
8. Dream Theater
“A Dramatic Turn of Events”
This picture is SO fake. Everyone knows that the wind would totally blow his hat off.
7. Sebastian Bach
“Kicking & Screaming”
Sebastian Bach is still releasing albums while Kip Winger sits at home. There is no justice in this world.
6. Millie Vanillie
“Green Velvet”
If you blur your eyes just enough, it looks like they both have udders.
5. Bilal
“Robots”
Our generation's "American Gothic".
4. Steve Miller Band
“Let Your Hare Down”
There's no way that rabbit is going to be able to maneuver its way down that ladder #animalcruelty
3. 31Knots
“Trump Harm”
When Joe wouldn’t commit to the shirtless cover, they came up with a genius back-up plan.
2. Lady Ga Ga
“Born this Way”
American Chopper totally missed the boat on their Lady GaGa bike. I would have gone with a meat-r-cycle.
1. Limp Bizkit
“Golden Cobra”
With “Gold Cobra”, Limp Bizkit tried going the Rick Perry route by making fun of themselves, but just like Perry, they still look like asses in the end.
Filed under Best/Worst Album Covers
Best/Worst Album Covers of 2009
Unfortunately, there will not be any “Road Trip” blogs for two weeks due to all of my trip photos being on my home computer. Never fear! The best of lists are here! Over the next couple weeks we will be unveiling our top albums, songs, and below, our best and worst album covers. Enjoy your holiday season, and of course, enjoy our look back on 2009.
9. Green Day
“21st Century Breakdown”
8. Susan Boyle
“I Dreamed a Dream”
7. Monsters of Folk
“s/t”
5. Twisted Sister
“Big Hits and Nasty Cuts: The Best of Twisted Sister”
4. Chris Brown
“Graffiti”
3. Ben’s Brother
“Battling Giants”
2. Bill Engvall
“Aged and Confused”
1. Brooke Hogan
“The Redemption”
9. Grizzly Bear
“Vecktamist”
8. Baroness
“Blue Album”
7. Weezer
“Raditude”
6. Antlers
“Hospice”
5. Flaming Lips
“Embryonic”
4. Dinosaur Jr.
“Farm”
3. Biffy Clyro
“Only Revolutions”
2. Animal Collective
“Merriweather Post Pavilion”
1. Yo La Tengo
“Popular Songs”
The Worst…
10. Kenny Chesney “Greatest Hits II”It looks like Kenny's roadies left all his gear on the beach. I guess he'll have to load it all himself! Fortunately, he doesn't have any sleeves to roll up.
I think this album is supposed to look urban, dirty, and rebellious. Instead, it looks like a polished paint by numbers.
When you are famous for being ugly with a beautiful voice, you probably shouldn't plaster your ugly mug on the CD cover, even if your hands are covering half of the mess. Like Obama would say, "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." (Too harsh?)
- Oh! I get it! It’s folk stars in cartoon form! There’s Conor Oberst, Jim James, M. Ward and there’s….um…there’s….the dude from “Doonesbury”?
Gay.
I don't know what's worse: five 50-year-olds in ripped jeans and make-up or the monster's claws ripping through their image.
Obviously, Chris Brown is not the best at making good decisions, but who knows what he was thinking with this cover. Maybe he's auditioning for the part of Judge Doom in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2". "Hey evil cartoon creatures! If you don't help me with my plan I'll spray you with The Dip!"
It looks like somebody went a little overboard with their collage. "But there were so many cool pics to cut out of my 'National Geographic!"
God is great. Beer is good. The world is crazy! EL OH EL!
I know money may be tight for the Hulkster these days but this is God awful...I'm guessing Hulk must have owed a favor to a blind South Beach air-brush artist.
The Best…
10. The Black Lips “200 Million Thousand”At first glance this cover may seem lame with its scrawled letters and monotonous black and white lines, but if you stare at it a little longer, a gruesome face will emerge from the mess of lines. Beware!
I don't get Grizzly Bear, and it frustrates me to no end. Their 2009 release "Vectamist" has been critically acclaimed, yet I listen to it and find myself yawning. What am I missing here? Well, at least I can appreciate the album's expressionist cover, a vibrant blend of triangular shapes and chipping paint.
It sure is nice having a graphic artist in your band.
Sure, this Weezer album sucks dog balls, but you can't deny the shear awesomeness featured in this image of a canine catapulting across a living room. If I could describe this picture in one word, it would "RADITUDE"! (Eck, I just gave myself douche chills)
This cover may seem boring and simple, but that is what makes it so brilliant. Everything seems to fit perfectly: the contrast of the colors and the cyclical feel of the two hands reaching out. When you notice that the left upper-hand is wearing a hospital wristband, the album's title "Hospice" takes on a much larger meaning.
This isn't the cartoony water color Flaming Lips cover you've grown accustomed too, which is fitting when considering the stark change in style the album contains. Dark and appalling, both the grimey music and the cover's image of a woman attempting to emerge from a hairy cocoon will leave you confused yet searching for more.
I'm not sure if these walking plants are inspired by LOTR's Ents, or if they are supposed to be giant pot plants, but there is something damn cool about this image of vegetation dudes carrying cute women away from the city smog. It doesn't really fit the album's grinding riffs and howling guitar solos, but when a cover is this kick-ass, does it matter?
This is a truly captivating photograph that only raises questions. Are these two being held captive? Why is there a fire? What do the sheets waving in the wind represent? Are they being held back? Or do they somehow represent sexual tension? Or am I just going crazy? It's too bad the band's music isn't nearly as interesting as this photo that will lead you to either enlightenment or insanity.
Stare at the picture for a moment. Is it moving like water? What makes it even cooler is how fitting it is alongside "Merriweather Post Pavilion's" watery, spaced out sounds.
A rusty, unravelling cassette tape - not only does it make you nostalgic for the age of the mix-tape, but it also makes you a little sad. Kids being born today will never own a physical piece of digital media. All their music, movies, and video games will be kept on a hard drive, not taking up space and gathering dust in the basement. At the same time, they will never know the joy of making that perfect blend of songs to be listened to ad nauseam in your car as your cruise the loop. As much as us "Hippies and a Ouija Board" want to keep this era alive, sometimes "Ghosts Don't Always Want to Come Back".
Filed under Best/Worst Album Covers
