The Worst Album Covers of 2014

worst

The annual “Worst Album Covers” list is one of the highlights of the year for me because it gives me a chance to explore music outside of what I usually focus on. It also gives me a chance to loosen my pretentious music reviewer tie for a moment and have some fun. Obviously this list is just a matter of taste; in fact, I have had friends tell me in the past that they prefer many of the albums on this list to my “Best Album Covers” list.  Whether you find the following covers to be interesting or fantastically bad, take joy this year’s collection of strange cover art(?).

20.Gucci Mane & Young Thug

Young Thugga Mane La Flare

The newest member of the Wu-Tang Clan: Two-Faced Killah

The newest member of the Wu-Tang Clan: Two-Faced Killah

19.Neil Diamond

Melody Road

Legend has it that Melody Road is haunted by a creepy old panhandler.

Legend has it that Melody Road is haunted by a creepy old panhandler.

18. Slug Christ

Genocide

Well that escalated quickly.

Well that escalated quickly.

17. Florida Georgia Line

Anything Goes

Anything Goes, eh? I’m guessing that was the answer they gave when asked what concept they’d like to use for the cover of their new album.

Anything Goes, eh? I’m guessing that was the answer Florida Georgia Line gave when asked what concept they’d like to use for the cover of their new album.

16. Hozier

Hozier

81HNJKyPWHL._SL1500_

You know those things where soccer moms get together to drink wine and paint? I imagine this cover was created at one of these shindigs, only they substituted the wine with shrooms.

15. Carmine & Vinny Appice

Drum Wars Live!

Based on this cover, I can assume that a Drum War is the musical equivalent to larping. “Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!”

Based on this cover, I can assume that a Drum War is the musical equivalent to larping. “Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!”

14.The Chuck Wagon Gang

Meeting in Heaven

So you’re telling me that I can either meet up with The Chuck Wagon Gang in Heaven or Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, and Keith Moon in Hell? Decisions, decisions…

So you’re telling me that I can either meet up with The Chuck Wagon Gang in Heaven, or I can go to Hell and meet up with Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, and Keith Moon? Decisions, decisions…

13. Dillon Francis

Money Sucks, Friends Rule

Mr. Francis, if your friends “rule," then why did they allow you to release an album with this cover (which “sucks”)?

Mr. Francis, if your friends “rule,” then why did they allow you to release an album with this cover (which “sucks”)?

12. The Pretty Reckless

Going to Hell

This “tramp stamp” comes with directions.

This “tramp stamp” comes with directions.

11. Yelle

Completement Fou

I tried coming up with a funny caption for this cover, but everything I came up with was either corny or blew.

I tried thinking of a funny caption for this cover, but everything I came up with was either corny or blew.

10. Venetian Snares

My Love is a Bulldozer

I've never seen a centaur that looks so lethargic and unmotivated. This must be the rare sub-species known as the "complacentaur."

I’ve never seen a centaur that looks so lethargic and unmotivated. This must be the rare sub-species known as the “complacentaur.”

9. Junior Sisk & Ramblers Choice

Trouble Follows Me

When choosing an artist to create your cover, steer clear of anyone who’s employment history includes “Six Flags caricature artist.”

When choosing an artist to create your cover, steer clear of anyone whose employment history includes “Six Flags Caricature Artist.”

8. Walk the Moon

Talking is Hard

I decided these guys must be Canadian based solely on my knowledge of Terrance & Phillip.

I decided these guys must be Canadian based solely on my knowledge of Terrance & Phillip.

7. Steel Panther

All You Can Eat

“This is my pizza given for you; eat this in remembrance of me.”

“This is my pizza given for you; eat this in remembrance of me.”

6.Kieza

Sound of a Woman

“Mecca-lecca-hi, mecca-hiney-ho!”

“Mecca-lecca-hi, mecca-hiney-ho!”

5. FUNGONEWRONG

Fungonewrong

Paper bag masks + chrome diamond font + gratuitous explosions = CoverGoneWrong

Paper bag masks + chrome diamond font + gratuitous explosions = CoverGoneWrong

4. No Bra

Candy

Who knew crutches could be so slimming?

Who knew crutches could be so slimming?

3. Roseanna Vitro

Clarity

Roseanna is still in the process of house training her piano.

Roseanna is still in the process of house-training her piano.

2. Serious Black

A Daylight Breaks

Roseanna is still in the process of house training her piano.

All Zombies Go To Heaven

1. Matthewdavid

In My World

Women always misunderstand when Matthewdavid tells them he has a baby-penis.

Women always misunderstand when Matthewdavid tells them he has a baby-penis.

Advertisements

4 Comments

by | December 19, 2014 · 2:30 am

4 responses to “The Worst Album Covers of 2014

  1. The Venetian Snares cover is just the greatest thing ever!

  2. songssuck

    once again, substitute all 20 of these for your best album covers list.

  3. There were some truly awful covers in 2014 most of which, as my kids always tell me, are simply ironic. No, they are not – they are crap ideas put forward by people who don’t really care. i.e. My kids band released an album entitled “Propeller” which is really worth a spin (get it) but apart from there not being a title song on the CD, the cover doesn’t even have a propeller on it. Talk about windows of opportunity being missed.

  4. I won’t lie, I audibly laughed at the Drum Wars Live caption.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s