Tag Archives: taylor swift

How to Troll Ryan Adams in Only Two Songs

Yesterday was supposed to be Ryan Adam’s day to shine. After months of teasing his re-imagining of Taylor Swift’s 1989, he finally revealed his work yesterday for the world to hear. The afternoon was filled with lemming bloggers heralding Adams for his takes on Swift’s album of mundanity.  Why he got patted on the back for attempting to bring authenticity to an album of manufactured, overtly polished, radio-friendly schlock is beyond me, but you have to commend him for having the foresight to cover an album by the most popular “music artist” in the world. If you want to bring in a younger demographic after a stagnantly predictable decade of music, what better way than to hop on the magical coattails of Ms. Faux-Humility.

But then, amidst Adam’s day of glory, Father John Misty came along and trolled both him and Swift with two mp3s posted to his SoundCloud page. The first clip was a cover of “Blank Space” with the note: “My reinterpretation of the classic Ryan Adams album 1989.” Ouch. As if a cover of a cover wasn’t enough of a face to Adam’s desperate grasp for a younger audience, the audio revealed that FJM opted to cover Adam’s cover of Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in the style of The Velvet Underground (welcome to the rabbit hole, my friends).

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Questioning the Scripture of Bill Hicks

Let’s face it – Bill Hicks was a genius.  Taking a cue from the all-time great George Carlin, Hicks infused his rebellious comedy routine with a heavy dose of philosophy. His views on society, government, religion, and drugs are still thought-provoking and profound 20-years later.  Recently while watching his 1992 special Relentless I had a moment of confusion.  While talking about the music industry’s penchant for performing fellatio on the Devil, Hick’s quipped, “Let me tell you something right now, you can print this in stone and don’t you ever forget it: any performer who ever sells a product on television is for now and all eternity removed from the artistic world.”

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One Hundred Dollars “Forest of Tears”

One Hundred Dollars
Forest of Tears
(Blue Fog: 2008)

Rating: 8.6

I have a friend who is constantly bitching to me that, “there is no good punk rock these days.”  Obviously, this friend is a big incorrect doosh, cos there is.  I always get pissed at those types of dudes.  Every genre has its ups and downs, but to say that a genre, any genre, is void of good music here in the late 00’s is erroneous. 

Having said all that, what a pile of shit country music is these days.  Fucken horrible shit.  I sit here watching the CMA’s (I know, I know, what the fuck am I doing watching that?) and it is just one big BLAND piece of shit coming on stage after another.  Boring songs, boring lyrics, boring people, it makes me want to puke.  Also, are there any country artists who aren’t ridiculously good looking?  I mean, I have nothing against good looking people (god knows I am one of them) but are you telling me that every country artist with talent looks like a model?  I seriously hope that some of these people I see on TV get the swine flu.  Think I am being too harsh on mainstream country music?  Then go fuck yourself, you dooshface.

Thank god there are still some fuckers out there, who know that country music is more than wearing a cowboy hat in public, singing about being ridiculously patriotic or looking good while singing shitty pop songs written by someone else (here’s to you Taylor Swift, cos while Kanye is a “jackass” he was right about one thing, your song & video does suck donkey dick, even if you did write it yourself as some who have stuck up for you  against my tirades have claimed).  I am talking about $100 and Forest of Tears, the best country album of the last year or so that I can think of right now (I am in emergency mode after seeing 3 minutes of the CMAs, if I think of a better one I’ll have to clue y’all in later).

Lots of songs about hardships, trains, lesbians on the run, minimum wage, using manure for fertilizer and drinking sung by my new favorite female country singer and embellished with plenty of pedal steel.  I’ll tell you what, it is a pleasure to have this album with me when I need some company (like the drive from Boise to Omaha, in one of them big assed Penske moving trucks).  But mostly I guess it is just good to know that good country music isn’t just a thing of the past.

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